It's Mother's Day...ON WEED
I galaxy brain on weed and motherhood and Allie Adams shares the best gifts for that special maternal figure in your life
It’s pretty cool that we are at a point in time where we can write newsletters about weed and motherhood and not have it spark off a Child Protective Services investigation. That was not always the case, and I’m grateful to be mothering at a time when I can openly consume cannabis and have it not be an issue, save for weird opinions and comments here and there.
I mentioned in my last newsletter that I’ve been getting back out into the world more since the first time since giving birth, which actually reaches back even farther to before I was pregnant. I broke my ankle during pregnancy and was unable to walk or leave the house for a good chunk of it, so I’m joining society again for the first time since fall 2022. I don’t feel anxious being out or talking to people—that feels good like I’m back in my natural state—but I do feel incredibly keyed up every time I’m away from home, even if it’s just a trip to the office. After so many years inside during Covid, then during my pregnancy and postpartum, I’ve become a bit of an anxious homebody who is happiest in her backyard with her husband, dog, and baby. Nothing is wrong with that, but it’s a big difference from the jet-setting, hyper-social life I led before the world shut down.
Part of this is getting older–I’m 38 now–and part of this is the natural flow of child gestation and rearing and building a family. But some of this is just straight-up anxiety and complete exhaustion over an inability to deal with how intense the outside world is.
Some of it is also mom guilt. I work a lot, so every other moment I’m not at home, even if the baby is asleep for the night, I feel like I’m doing something wrong. That, somehow, I’m a bad mom. I think, somewhere along the line, I internalized society’s insinuations that good moms are purely sacrificial and exist only for their families, and if you do anything that doesn’t directly involve or benefit your family, you’re falling short. In my conscious brain, I know that’s not true. But the lizard brain says otherwise, meaning that anytime I’m away from home, I’m likely dealing with guilt over being gone. Add to that being gone for weed events, and I know I’m also dealing with the added stigma I’ve internalized that good moms don’t ditch their families to go smoke weed for a few days. I know that’s a lame, ridiculous oversimplification of things, and it’s not something I believe in actuality, but it’s how my anxious brain talks to me sometimes.
Other than this common brand of self-flagellation that all moms know all too well, I have loved motherhood so far, and I know my husband loves being a father more than anything he’s ever done. We were both so unsure of what it would look like and whether we would enjoy it, and it’s been intensely joyful and fulfilling for both of us.
For me, weed helps. I briefly wrote about this in an earlier newsletter, but I’m a generally anxious person, and I believe my cannabis use aids in some way and possibly hurts in others. I also believe it greatly aids my parenting, as it keeps my emotions on an even keel, prevents me from getting too excited, and allows me to slow down, relax, and get silly with my baby. When I’m not with him, weed helps me decompress from long days of working and parenting.
But what I have not shared until now is that I’m currently exploring an AudHD diagnosis with my doctors. It’s a combination of ADHD and some Autism spectrum symptoms. For me, this exploration is the culmination of many years of various types of therapies and other treatments and the suspicion that some of my sensory issues, problems with executive function, and other social tics might be rooted in something other than my being rude, lazy, immature, “all over the place,” dramatic, too excited, too angry, or crazy. Who knew?
I’m starting to realize that my compulsive cannabis use is not just tied to my anxiety and mitigating those symptoms but also likely tied to my neurodivergence, the details of which I’m still figuring out. Today, my good friend Cara Wietstock, who is an editor at GreenState, wrote about how she uses cannabis to manage her autism and ADHD symptoms. After reading it, I sat at my computer crying for 20 minutes. I felt as if I could have written it myself.
I think there are a lot of us neurodivergent types in the weed world who, whether knowingly or not, have sought and found refuge in the therapeutic properties of the cannabis plant. It helps us socialize, become embodied, or it calms our racing brains, to give just a few examples.
For me, Cara was kind enough to point out while we were spending time together that, perhaps, the things I was wondering about regarding my brain and my behavior were similar to what she had wondered. I had been clued into my ADHD diagnosis for a long time, but wasn’t sure if I had my whole story figured out. I’m grateful to her for the tip-off. It’s since helped open and close many gaps for me, and I’m looking forward to exploring this topic more.
Exploring neurodivergence has also allowed me to become more accepting of my own cannabis use as a mother, the shame of which I still carry a little bit, even though I know I shouldn’t. I had written earlier that I was concerned I was both treating and egging on my anxiety at the same time, but also, I still think that in the back of my mind, I felt I was using a “drug” in the most negative sense.
Now, I realize my cannabis use is a lot more complex than that, that it likely has more therapeutic benefits for me than I was even clued into, and that I’ve been trying to help myself, and in part, succeeding this whole time. I think my AudHD brain with a touch of THC is honestly kind of my parenting and working superpower; the more that I think about it, it’s completely reframing the way I think about myself, my habits, and the way I take care of myself in a positive way. I desperately needed this validation and healing, and I’m glad to be finally at this part of my motherhood journey. I’m also glad cannabis is part of that journey. Life’s a trip.
100% Stoner Mom-Approved Gift Guide, 2024
Anyway, in honor of my SECOND Mother’s Day (I gave birth on the holiday last year), I’ve decided to throw in a gift guide for the moms, written by fellow mom and one of my mentees and friends, Allie Adams, who writes for High Times, The Pier, Top Shelf Music, San Diego Magazine, and other publications. Turns out, some of us maternal types like weed. Make us feel good about it, get us a little treat. We deserve it.
This Mother’s Day, get us stuff we really want. This guide takes the guesswork out of gift-giving with deas for all budgets, guaranteed to put a sparkle in our little red eyes. From purses to jewelry to no-smell vaporizers, tis the season for getting high where we want and serving c*nt while we’re doing it (and you’re going to help).
- Allie Adams
Under $50
Lil Bun “World’s Dopest Mom” Sweatshirt, $41.50
Kawaii stoner girl chic at its finest, Lil Bun’s original designs bring out the whimsical wonder in all of us. The coolest mom you know is snuggled up in this cheeky hoodie, two sizes too big and paired with ripped 501’s and Sk8-Hi’s.
Lorivu Portable Smoke Purifier, $49.99
Smoking a joint in the bathroom while you get ready for a night out or an errand-filled day is one of life's greatest pleasures. IDK about you, but as comfortable as I am exposing my kids to the act of smoking, I still don’t like them being around secondhand smoke. This aesthetic little carbon air filter has over 1,100 five-star reviews and “uses a multi-layer filtration system to remove 97% of toxic chemicals and immediately replace smoke, fumes, and odors with clean and healthy air”.
Pot-Pourri High Hopes Smoke Odor Eliminating Candle, $17.99
Cleanse and reset her space after an indoor sesh with earthy lemon and clove scented candle with Funk Lock Technology. The label is adorned with a darling wreath of pot leaves and it’s made by the creators of Poo-Pourri, so you know they know a thing or two about, ahem, foul odors.
Under $100
High on Plants Large Leaf Earrings, Black & Glow-in-the-Dark Rage colors, $59.99
High on Plants has become a cult favorite among the who’s-who in the cannabis world (IYKYK), cultivating their own community through their handmade, laser-cut earrings. These styles are collaborations with weed journalist (and new mom!), Jackie Bryant and weed writer and content creator
of Fruit + Flower. Pssst: High on Plants co-founder Caroline Murphy is also a new mom, and she took the photos for the Rage earrings photoshoot.
Editor’s note: You won’t believe me, but this was not collusion. Allie came up with this suggestion all on her own, and who am I to edit a writer’s genius? That said, you can use code Jackie10 for 10% off anywhere on the site, not just for my collab earrings. Make sure to check out ’s story about her earrings: she painted them herself, and her tale is well worth the read.
Hash Stash The OG Stash Box, $79.00
It is pretty enough to keep on the coffee table and secure enough to do so in a house crawling with children. This locking, smell-proof stash box is as pretty as it is functional; the bamboo and brass storage container has a rolling tray, three bamboo-finished glass jars, a storage tube, and a cleaning brush.
Revelry Supply Co. “The Shorty” Smell-Proof Mini Backpack, $60
Let her relive her 90’s high school cool-girl days with this carbon-lined cheetah print mini backpack. Completely smell-proof and water-resistant, this sexy little number can hold her stash and the baby bottles. Because, yes, we grew up, but we’re still hella fly.
YewYew Cloud Case, $70
Is she a sucker for design? This lighter and joint combo case is the ultimate aesthetic travel companion. Anddddd… it doesn’t really look like a joint holder–more like makeup packaging and, hopefully, less enticing to curious hands. If discreet is the name of her game, this has “Mom” written all over it.
Over $100
Vintage Redeux Mary Jane Smoking Robe, $120
Remember what I said about getting ready? Imagine she’s doing her thing wearing this custom satin robe, unbothered, moisturized, thriving, in her lane, and effortlessly hip. Vintage Redeux is another mom-owned small business; if “luxury stoner” was ever a thing [Editor’s note: IT IS], this robe would be the uniform.
Storz & Bickel “Venty” Hot Air Generator, $449
Quick to heat up and virtually odor-free, the Storz & Bickel dry herb vape is a holy grail for moms. Using hot air instead of combustion to get big, pillowy clouds that dissipate almost immediately, vaping is better for your lungs and tastes better, too. Savor the flavor and save time with this newly released, battery-powered device.
[Editor’s note: this appeared in a recent gift guide, but I’m going to keep it in because a lung-friendly, longevity-promoting device specializing in discretion is, obviously, a very mom-friendly gift]
Toasted “Eloise” Baroque Pearl Joint Holder, $115
If “extra” and “bougie” are adjectives you’d use to describe the adoring mom in your life, she kind of needs this gold-filled, pearl-adorned joint holder. It’s a one-of-one (just like her), but Toasted has more unique joint holders lined up around the block, waiting for their forever home.
Edie Parker Burn Bag clutch in Tweed, $325 [Jackie’s addition]
The original iconic lighter bag is back in chic-as-fuck St. John tweed to match all her fancy going-out outfits and garner endless compliments from adoring fans (you) everywhere she goes. Bonus? This time, it’s made with custom vintage-inspired silver eyelash material from the iconic designer, a favorite of Kate Winslet (the fashion house’s current spokesperson), Gisele, Angelina Jolie, Mindy Kaling, Jill Biden, and its original spokesmodel, Kelly Gray. Imagine giving her this bag, treating her to a night on the town, or sending her off to do her thing. Best. Night. Ever.
Take a snap:
I was on San Diego’s CBS 8 talking about rescheduling.
I also wrote about the 100th anniversary of the world’s most famous salad.
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Thank you so much for sharing our High on Plants RAGE earrings and my story! 🥰
This is so great!